Last weekend, ravers from all over the world gathered at NOS Events Center in San Bernardino, California to attend Beyond Wonderland SoCal 2022. Beyond Wonderland is an Alice in Wonderland themed EDM festival held every year in the spring. The spectacular lineup featured headliners Zedd, Above & Beyond, Benny Benassi, and many more.

“It was litty titty,” said one raver with lavender hair who looked like she had just been swallowed up by a tornado and subsequently spit out onto the floor. Her friend, a waifish brunette who looked to be in about the same condition added, “Vintage Culture was my favorite set, but I’d have to say the best part of the show was when Valentino Khan got abducted by aliens.” What? I begged them to clarify.

“Oh yeah,” the second girl continued, “In the middle of his set he just vanished, and when he reappeared, he was all dazed and confused and he just collapsed onto the stage. But ten seconds later he was upright again, and he played the most amazing set. Honestly I’m not even that big of a fan, but it was heavenly.” The other one nodded in agreement.

I was still a bit bewildered. “But how did you come to the conclusion that he was ‘abducted by aliens’ as you say?” “You could just tell,” the lavender-haired one averred, “I mean, I think you had to be there.”

Now I can’t be a hundred percent sure what actually occurred, but the girls, all their friends, and thousands of others were convinced so… I guess you can be the judge of that.


Updated 05:31 PM ET, Thu March 31, 2022